与我为邻

看《与我为邻》的过程其实观众会对纪录片呈现的罗杰斯先生形象有所担忧（真实形象与媒介形象是否会产生人物黑化的动态偏差？其背后的权力资本运作是怎样的？），而这部里罗杰斯的形象就太容易预测了（就算有结尾意外的钢琴音也无法挽回），因为汉克斯那张美国好人的脸就已经说明了问题（从饰演迪士尼以来越发固化），是当下美国的集体焦虑难以让主流好莱坞冒险来让观众承受神圣儿童偶像身上可能的黑暗与暧昧性吗，反而更想看库珀来演这个角色。基于结尾的谢幕，如果当成罗杰斯先生的一集儿童节目来看也没毛病，纽约就像头尾的玩具微缩模型一样，观众总归需要一些幻象。

Fred Rogers 真的好棒！这才是我们需要的儿童教育啊！

让孩子有自信，能接受错误，有爱自己和爱他人的能力。

It's you I like

It's not the things you wear

It's not the way you do your hair

But it's you I like

The way you are right now

The way deep down inside you

Not the things that hide you

Not your fancy chair

That's just beside you

But it's you I like

Every part of you

Your skin, your eyes, your feelings

Whether old or new

I hope that you'll remember

Even when you are feeling blue

That it's you I like

It's you yourself

It's you

I like

From the time you were very little

You have people who have smiled you into smiling

People who have talked to you into talking

Sang you into singing

Loved you into loving

Now think about somebody who's helped you along the way

For one minute, I'm going to time you.

Let's just take some time to think of those extra special people.

Some of them may be right here.

Some may be far away.

Some may even be in heaven.

Now matter where they are,

deep down you know they've always wanted what was best for you.

They've always cared about you beyond measure,

and have encouraged you to be true,

to the best within you.

“那些在生活中抗争的人给我留下最深刻的印象”

是啊，现在的电视里充斥着许多暴力，人类最初的单纯和善良变成了时代的奢侈品

影片最后给剧中的人以及剧外的人一分钟的时间想想那些在我们生命中帮助我们成为更好的自己的人有谁？

有人想的是他的妈妈，有人想的是她的保姆，有人想的是弗雷德。

我想的是我的妈妈，从小给我念故事书，在我的爱情受挫时治愈我，在我生病时照顾我，在我抑郁时鼓励我。

当然不止我的妈妈，还有我的朋友，老师，以及给我善意的陌生人。

你呢？

“From the time you were very little, you’ve had people who have smiled you into smiling, people who have talked you into talking, sung you into singing, loved you into loving. Let’s just take some time to think of those extra special people, some may be right here, some may be far away, some may even be in heaven, no matter where they are, deep down you know, they’ve always wanted what was best for you, they’ve always cared about you beyond measure and have encouraged you to be true to the best within you.”

“You know, I think everybody longs to be loved, and longs to know he or she is lovable, and consequently, the greatest thing that we can do is to help somebody know that they’re loved and capable of loving.”

“You have to make each day a special day, by just being yourself, there’s nobody else in the whole world who’s exactly like you, and people can like you as exactly as you are, you are special.” By Fred Rogers

When I was at Dartmouth in the late 1940s, the tuition, room, and board all added up to $1,100 a year. Nobody owned a home computer, and hardly anyone had a television set. And those who did, there was a choice of three channels. I’m not sure if Jeanne Shaheen was even born yet, but very few people would have guessed that within 50 years, a woman would be governor or New Hampshire. Yes. When I was here, the first word of the alma mater was “Men. Men of Dartmouth give a rouse.”Well, now the first word is "Dear." Some things change for the better.

During my first year here, I lived right over there at 101 Middle Mass. And I had two roommates. I had a professor, over there, who did his best to scare everyone in his class, and he gave me the lowest grade that I ever had in any school anywhere. But I also had an astronomy professor, George Dimitrov, who looked for and found what was best in each of his students. When I look at the night sky, I still think of that extra special, kind man.

Dartmouth is many things to each of us, and I'm grateful to Jim and Susan Wright for all that they have done for this school. And I’m grateful to my old friend, Chick Koop, for all that he has done for all of us. And I congratulate every one of you who is being honored in any way during this Commencement weekend.

Our world hangs like a magnificent jewel in the vastness of space. Every one of us is a part of that jewel. A facet of that jewel. And in the perspective of infinity, our differences are infinitesimal. We are intimately related. May we never even pretend that we are not.

Have you heard my favorite story that came from the Seattle Special Olympics? Well, for the 100-yard dash, there were nine contestants, all of them so-called physically or mentally disabled. All nine of them assembled at the starting line, and at the sound of the gun, they took off. But not long afterward, one little boy stumbled and fell, and hurt his knee and began to cry. The other eight children heard him crying. They slowed down, turned around, and ran back to him. Every one of them ran back to him. One little girl with Down Syndrome bent down and kissed the boy, and said, “This'll make it better.”The little boy got up, and he and the rest of the runners linked their arms together, and joyfully walked to the finish line. They all finished the race at the same time. And when they did, everyone in that stadium stood up, and clapped, and whistled, and cheered for a long, long time. People who were there are still telling this story with great delight. And you know why. Because deep down, we know that what matters in this life is more than winning for ourselves. What really matters is helping others win, too. Even if it means slowing down and changing our course now and then.

Anicius Manlius Severinus Boethius—what a name—was the last of the great Roman philosophers, and the first of the scholastics of the Middle Ages. Fifteen hundred years ago, Boethius wrote this sentence, “O happy race of mortals, if your hearts are ruled as is the universe, by Love.”

I was once invited to sit in on a master class of six young cellists from the Pittsburgh Youth Symphony Orchestra. The master teacher was Yo-Yo Ma. Now, Yo-Yo is the most other-oriented genius I’ve every known. His music comes from a very deep place within his being. And during that master class, Yo-Yo gently led those young cellists into understandings about their instruments, their music, and their selves, which some of them told me later, they’d carry with them forever.

I can still see the face of one young man who had just finished playing a movement of Brahms’Cello Sonata, when Yo-Yo said, “Nobody else can make the sound you make.”Of course, he meant that as a compliment to the young man. Nevertheless, he meant that also for everyone in the class. Nobody else can make the sound you make. Nobody else can choose to make that particular sound in that particular way.

I’m very much interested in choices, and what it is, and who it is, that enable us human beings to make the choices we make all through our lives. What choices lead to ethnic cleansing? What choices lead to healing? What choices lead to the destruction of the environment, the erosion of the Sabbath, suicide bombings, or teenagers shooting teachers. What choices encourage heroism in the midst of chaos?

I have a lot of framed things in my office, which people have given to me through the years. And on my walls are Greek, and Hebrew, and Russian, and Chinese. And beside my chair, is a French sentence from Saint-Exupery’s Little Prince. It reads, “L’essential est invisible pour les yeux.”What is essential is invisible to the eye. Well, what is essential about you? And who are those who have helped you become the person you are? Anyone who has ever graduated from a college, anyone who has ever been able to sustain a good work, has had at least one person, and often many, who have believed in him or her. We just don’t get to be competent human beings without a lot of different investments from others.

I’d like to give you all an invisible gift. A gift of a silent minute to think about those who have helped you become who you are today. Some of them may be here right now. Some may be far away. Some, like my astronomy professor, may even be in Heaven. But wherever they are, if they’ve loved you, and encouraged you, and wanted what was best in life for you, they’re right inside your self. And I feel that you deserve quiet time, on this special occasion, to devote some thought to them. So, let’s just take a minute, in honor of those that have cared about us all along the way. One silent minute.

Whomever you’ve been thinking about, imagine how grateful they must be, that during your silent times, you remember how important they are to you. It’s not the honors and the prizes, and the fancy outsides of life which ultimately nourish our souls. It’s the knowing that we can be trusted. That we never have to fear the truth. That the bedrock of our lives, from which we make our choices, is very good stuff.

There’s a neighborhood song that is meant for the child in each of us, and I’dlike to give you the words of that song right now. “It’s you I like, it’s not the things you wear. It’s not the way you do your hair, but it’s you I like. The way you are right now, the way down deep inside you. Not the things that hide you. Not your caps and gowns, they’re just beside you. But it’s you I like. Every part of you. Your skin, your eyes, your feelings. Whether old or new, I hope that you remember, even when you're feeling blue, that it’s you I like. It’s you, yourself, it’s you. It’s you I like.”

And what that ultimately means, of course, is that you don't ever have to do anything sensational for people to love you. When I say it’s you I like, I’m talking about that part of you that knows that life is far more than anything you can ever see, or hear, or touch. That deep part of you, that allows you to stand for those things, without which humankind cannot survive. Love that conquers hate. Peace that rises triumphant over war. And justice that proves more powerful than greed.

So, in all that you do in all of your life, I wish you the strength and the grace to make those choices which will allow you and your neighbor to become the best of whoever you are. Congratulations to you all.

在此之前，我只认识一个罗杰斯，他叫卡尔·罗杰斯，是一位人本主义心理学家。

这部电影，让我认识了另一个罗杰斯，他叫弗雷德·罗杰斯，是一位几乎进行了一辈子的儿童教育家。

这难道是一种偶然吗？两个罗杰斯都有一种善良的面孔，都有一种对人无条件积极关怀的价值持有。

而弗雷德，关注的群体，是世界上弱小的一个，声音和力量都极其容易被忽视掉的一个。

弗雷德看到了他们，还看重着他们，为了儿童能更好地成长，他几乎奉献了自己的一辈子，甚至连自己的信仰也放弃了，不再进行神学布道，而是一门心思地为儿童建构起一个充满友善的邻居世界，在那里，讲述爱讲述理解讲述支持，也解释死亡解释恐惧解释自我也解释偏见……

我想，儿童的外表是容易迷惑人的，让人们把它们视为可爱的精灵，但我相信弗雷德是聪明的，以他的智慧肯定能逃过这些迷惑，但他还是深深地爱上了这些儿童，为他们奉献为他们创造为他们解释为他们传达，这份热情与执着，可能是由外界引起，但更可能是在内心生发。

有一点，他的认识充满智慧，超出大多数人的理解，即，儿童的世界不应只是滑稽和搞笑，他们也有深层理解世界的能力和需要。

这一点，我觉得的是他的过人之处，不将儿童看成是一个什么都不懂的人，而是给予了充分的理解和尊重。

有了这个认识，就有了之后的行为发生的基础，所以他在把很多善意和正能量的理念传输给孩童们，这件事我觉得真的很伟大！

他承认了小孩子的需要，小孩子也需要理解这个世界，正确的理解这个世界，不是披上红色风衣就是超人的误读误解，而是即使我与他人不一样我也不是一个错误。如此这般，他维护了儿童的内心，像植入了许多正性的信念（我是好的，我是有能力的，我是特别的，我是有价值的……），当它们不断在内心着生，它们会变得坚固可靠，不可摧毁，即使将来长大了，经历风风雨雨，也会展现出强大的生命韧性，因为ta的信念系统能量满满，坚固的不可摧毁。

而如果一个儿童，自小就是许多负性的自我认识（我是个坏孩子，我是个不听话的孩子，我平庸……）长大成人，其实去和ta根深蒂固的信念系统做一番较量的话，是一个比较艰辛的事情，试想这几乎是对一个人的重新塑造，工程量可想而知，而如果再遇见成人的固执与偏见，这个工程的难度又要翻上几番！

但是，现实却是，小孩子的需求似乎被没有被高高在上的庞然大物般的成人所看到，他们看到的是它们的哭闹它们的无理，或者很多时候他们并没有在看它们，这就导致儿童的世界建设一片荒芜，甚至是充满恐慌，因为儿童对这个充满着庞然大物的世界不熟悉，不认识，不理解，他们看到这个东西从眼前消失了，可能就会认为它是死了而不是藏起来了，他们认为母亲的离开是对自己的遗弃……他们以自己的方式和认识试图理解并掌控这个世界，但这些“自以为是”比较危险，需要成人的爱和关怀来安抚情绪，需要成人的解释和描述来更正认识。

所以，弗雷德做了很多儿童需要的事儿，做了很多成人忽略的事儿，所以他成为了一个极富影响力的公众人物。

弯下腰，看到小的孩子，微微笑，成为大的人物。

向弗雷德学习，他对儿童的爱与关注，他的活泼与童心，他的友善和聪慧……